Sunday, April 29, 2012

29: Embracing Change

We all have a story. We just have to decide whether or not to tell it, and determine the right time to tell it if we so choose. For me, the answer is yes, and the time is now. I've had a lot of experiences in my life, and I believe that keeping our experiences to ourselves results in unlearning; stagnancy. And stagnancy is a death sentence, if you ask me. I hope for this blog to be a continuous, cyclical avenue of learning and growth, and one of Truth; one where the teaching and learning flows to and from all who come into contact with it, ceaselessly.

I have been building this blog in my mind for a long time now, yet I've been afraid to actually create it. Afraid? you may wonder, since "fear" can be a pretty harsh word, and an even more harsh experience to endure. But, yes, afraid. Fear of being imperfect. Fear of not measuring up to my expectations. Fear of mistakes. Maybe even fear of judgment.

I am Libra, and on that fence I shall ride for the duration of my current existence; whether I like it or not, it's an integral part of who I Am. I've learned that I tend to steer away from commitment; finalities sort of freak me out just a tad, if you want the truth. So it's been hard to actually physically build this blog, as I've got so many different ideas for it, so many things I want to share, so many ways I could approach it, and so many different things I could actually center it around. But here I am, tucking Fear and Hesitation inside a little knapsack, as I'm ready to move forward and to share what I've got to share with the world. Look out, little orange "Publish" button! Here I come...

But first...

I want to share what spurred me to start this now, today, and the answer is Twenty-Nine. Yes, 29: a number that once created a deep sense of angst within me, yet one I now embrace and accept and understand (at least, to some extent).
Not only is it the 29th of the month, but it's the 29th of April; a very significant combination of month and day, as that marks the anniversary of my father's transition to the other side. Thirteen years ago, in fact. Long before my dad passed on, a good friend of mine and I had already had it in our heads that 29 is a powerful number (leaning more on the side of "bad", is what we believed), so, surely you can fathom its impression upon me when 29 altered such a critical element in my life.

That's a story in and of itself, however. What's important to express at this juncture is that, over the years, my idea of what 29 is and for what it stands has evolved into a more holographic essence, if you will; one that simply means transformation (at least, it's what it means to me). I have been provided a vast array of proof of this over the years, so now when 29 comes into my life, I take a deep breath and choose to not resist, to brace myself, and even welcome it! Without change, we would be nothing. And in the specific case of my father's crossing-over on April 29th, I accept the fact that without death, there is no rebirth. I've known for a while now, afterall, that people don't die; they merely transform. I now realize that 29 merely means change. And change is good. Change is necessary.

So, here we are: April 29th. A powerful day of change in my life. I'm ready to face that little orange "Publish" button and set into motion my multi-faceted story.

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